What happened to the other 50 areas?

Easy question to answer, really.  We think the aliens are the real threat.  They’re not.  They were able to come up with light speed travel.  So?  A bullet is a bullet is a bullet.  You want to know what they had in the other 50 areas?  Our sources suggest that the rest of the areas had the really scary stuff.  Little creatures that mutate if you feed them after midnight and cause mass havoc… not sure how it works with time zones, but… we’ll get back to you on that.  One area.  Area 39?  People with freakish powers.  We’re talking about things as strange as being able to bend the paths of bullets or make entire crowds of people literally die laughing.  But the really scary stuff?  Indescribable monsters.  Everyone was always so convinced Lovecraft was making stuff up.  What if I told you he wasn’t?

The staff of the other areas don’t mingle. When I was in Area 51 I never heard anything from the other areas.

...You can’t be serious. Nothing “Happened” to the other 50 areas. There’s nothing mysterious about the other 50 areas. They’re all declassified military bunkers. Nothing more.

NOTHING!?...NOTHING!? Where do you think the microprocessor came from?

So we’re following Michael Bay’s Transformers, now?

MIACHEL BAY ROCS NUFF SIAD HANDS DONW BEST DIRECTAR EVUR

I’m not stooping to your level.

I’m not stooping to your level.

The level of sanity? Good to know.

Now why can’t we all behave like civilized folk, ‘stead of kickin’ and screamin’ like a couple o’ toddlers?

Ladies and gentlemen, ^ he is why we can’t have nice things.

Sounds like a great idea for a movie